Cigarettes and Tea

by Human Dinosaur Machine

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about

Written by HDM
Engineered, Mixed and Mastered by Al Pegg - Old Dog Studios
Artwork by @deadenddesign


“I was delivering a pizza and Amy Shark hit Triple J and I remember thinking ‘this sounds real, I actually believe these lyrics’ and it got me thinking about the difference between saying how you really feel and the sugar coated version - and it’s the same with lyrics.
Kazya and I are close; we often talk and we are there for one another. I suggested an idea to Kazya and from what I know, Kazya comprised the lyrics to cigarettes and tea from texts she had sent me in the weeks leading up to recording. I guess if you like ‘real’ real, you will dig this track.” - Roachy

"Writing cigarettes and tea (lyrics) became an exercise - I wanted to be more honest in my lyrical writing without editing too heavily which I tend to do, and roachy made a comment about how a lot of my text messages to him could be seen as lyrical; so I compiled a list of texts between us over the last year or so. I had just been diagnosed with bipolar, and laying the messages out on a page really hit home... So, cigarettes and tea was born. It's about needing help, but not really wanting or knowing how to ask for it without putting too much pressure on people also going through things. I often try to make sure people can say no to helping me through my real bad times by reassuring them that I have other coping mechanisms (cigarettes and tea, video games and tv) and that I won't die without them, that I'm actually okay and I hope they are too, but I could kinda use some company. Cigarettes and tea is probably one of the most honest songs that we have written so far, and is one of the more brutal insights into my brain. I love it." - Kazya K

lyrics

I don't know what to do
I can't stop crying
All I really want is a bullet to my brain
But that won't stop the aching either
I don't want to miss a single thing
All I want to do is go back to sleep
Could you tell me what to do?
But you don't really want to deal with this mess right now

I have never crossed my heart but I hope to die
Rapid cycling between rage and crying
It's not pretty
Are you doing okay?
Have an overwhelming need to die
But I smiled just before
And I haven't cried for half an hour
So I think I'm improving
Are you doing okay?

When will the sunshine reach my step?
I'm losing a race I haven't started yet
I need a moment to catch my breath
Cause I've been doing nothing at all
My friends are tired of the same old shit
I must have swallowed about 30 pills
And I'm starting to lose my grip
Would you give me something to hold on to?

I have never crossed my heart but I hope to die
Rapid cycling between rage and crying
It's not pretty
Are you doing okay?
Have an overwhelming need to die
But I smiled just before
And I haven't cried for half an hour
So I think I'm improving
Are you doing okay?

Is there any chance that you are listening?
Cause I could really use a friend right now
Everything has kinda gone to shit and I don't see a way out no I don't see a way out
I'm feeling really kinda scared for myself
And I know you're probably in no position to help
But I got cigarettes and I got tea
I got video games and seasons of community
I got cigarettes and I got tea
I got the witcher and all six seasons of community
But if I gotta tell you the truth all I need is you

credits

released June 13, 2020

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Human Dinosaur Machine Lismore, Australia

Human Dinosaur Machine's writing motivation has always been a brutalised, honest look at all the fun highs and sad lows regarding well being and mental health and the music strongly reflects this.

"HDM are like caged tigers with broken teeth - too wild, too angry, too loud, too BIG! to be boxed into a recording studio" - Rob Hirst, Midnight Oil ... more

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